Ninjas, Worms and SlugButts! Oh my
by Jad the dog
Summary: Cowritten by MugiwaraShinigami. Earthworm Jim Naruto crossover. When Jim's suit breaks he must find a way to fix it. Please Read and review. Also on DeviantArt.
1. Lame Chapter Title! Jim goes to Konoha!

(Author's note: The British narration will be in _Italic, _stuff in books will be in **bold **and flashbacks and thoughts will be in _**both**._)

Chapter 1

**Lame Chapter Title! Jim goes to Konoha!**

_"Today, I'll tell you a legend of how two courageous heroes teamed up to protect their homes from the evilest of evil such as villains, crooks and a Whole Foods store. Well, actually that last one I mentioned won't be in this story. Our tale begins deep within Earthworm Jim's Secret Lair/basement."_

Jim was sitting in front of a computer hooking up many cables from his super-suit and into the computer as he downloaded many files to his suit.

"At last," Jim yelled "Using my home computer to download many programs and stuff I got by simply clicking on a pop-up and downloaded them on to the laptop built within my suit, I can finally…" he then paused as he opened the lat top built on his chest up and began typing away "…make a monkey suit mod for Halo." Jim watched the lap top screen as Master Chief was now in a monkey suit instead of armor. Jim just started to laugh at the sight. "Hey Peter! Snott!" Jim yelled "I have created a scientific break through!" Then at that moment an electric surge went through Jim's suit and then it just collapsed. Peter and Snott walked into the basement to see what was going on. "What happened Jim?" Peter asked. "I don't know Peter," Jim responded "I was just watching Master Chimp and then the next thing I know, my suit stopped working." Snott started to talk in several slurps and gurgles. "Well I only downloaded a few things into my suit," Jim said "Half of them I had no idea what they're for." "I think you might have caught a virus Jim," Peter hypothesized "Aw don't be ridiculous Peter," Jim said as he tried to get up "I feel fi…" He was cut off as thousands of electrical volts went through his worm body. His skin turned all burnt and crispy like in most cartoons. "On second thought," Jim said "I might have caught a tracking cookie or two."

_"And so Peter Puppy tried to contact several different computer and appliance repair companies, but alas, no one was there to pick up the phone."_

Peter then walked down stairs to tell Jim the news. "Sorry Jim," He said "No one was there. It was as if some kind of plot device cut off their phone connection." He then saw Jim wasn't in his suit, his skin was back to normal, was wearing a chief Indian hat and had several peace symbols covering his suit. "We don't need modern science Peter," Jim said "When we can cleanse its mind of the virus. Besides, what did science and technology ever done for me?" "Well it gave you that super suit," Peter said "It made you evolve into what you are today. It helped you save the universe from many villains. It helped you out when you had those nasty warts on your..." "Just shut up," Jim said. Jim then started to get tears forming in his eyes. "Who am I kidding?" He yelled "We'll never fix my suit!" Jim just slivered over to his pile of newspapers and bootleg Japanese comic books he likes to lay on when he's depressed and started to cry. Peter picked up an issue of Naruto and decided to read it to Jim to try to cheer him up. He then noticed the Character bios and got an idea. "Jim!" he said with glee "Check this out." Jim looked up and perked up with excitement "I don't believe it," Jim said as he picked up a coupon that was lying on the ground. "75 off any chocolate flavored cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory!" "Not that," Peter said "This." He pointed to one of the character bios. It read, **Tsunade: specialties, healing jutsus**. "Do you know what this means Jim?" Peter asked "No chocolate cheesecake for Jim Jim?" Jim asked "Well, I guess we could get some first," Peter said "But more importantly, if her healing jutsus can heal human bodies then maybe it can heal mechanical ones as well." Jim thought about this for a moment and said "Peter, there is just one small dilemma to your plan. She is a fictional character in a fictional world." Peter thought of what Jim said for a moment and then got another idea. "Maybe this manga exists an alternate dimension," Peter said "We can just use the dimensional vortex in the Terlawk marketplace." "We have a dimensional vortex?" Jim asked "Yeah," Peter answered "Remember when it was first seen?"

_**Two old men with southern drawls were sitting on a porch staring out into nothingness when suddenly a glowing green vortex appears. "Hey Clem," One of the old men said "Yeah" Clem said.**_

"_**What do you suppose that is?"**_

"_**Looks like some kind of Inter-dimensional vortex."**_

"_**So it's not another alien invasion?"**_

"_**Nope"**_

"_**Shoot! And I was one photo away from completing my photo album," The old man then pulled out an album filled with photos of aliens invading Terlawk. "That's a shame," Clem said.**_

The flashback ended and Jim then said "Wow, it's a good then stories like these have a flashback or else I never would have remembered." Jim perked up, slithered over to his suit and pulled out his Pocket Rocket from its left pocket. "The quickest way to the vortex is by rocket," Jim said "Well just fly right into it on my Pocket Rocket." He, Peter and Snott hoped onto the rocket and tied the super suit to the back. Peter had a concerned look on his face. "Are you sure you can fly this thing without your hands?" Peter asked "Aw, come on Peter," Jim said with an annoyed tone "How difficult could it be pilot this thing without hands?" As soon as Jim was done talking, he mashed the go button with his tail and they crashed right through a wall. Unfortunately, Jim really did need his hands to be on the handles located on the left and right side to go up. Using his tail, all he could do was turn left. Jim and his two sidekicks just screamed as they were spinning around, the rocket was dragged on the street it was on and going at full speed of 500 miles per hour.

"Jim!" Peter yelled "I'm scared!" A frightened look came across Jim's face. "It's not that scary, is it Peter?" Jim said in a scared voice. "Please don't transform, especially at a time like this." Peter then turned into his monster form and attacked Jim. The entire rocket was then covered in a white cloud from the bashing Monster Peter was giving Jim. The rocket then flew right into the vortex.

"_Meanwhile on the planet Insectika, in her throne room the evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt has received news about Jim's suit breaking by reading this exact same Fan-Fic."_

"This poorly written story is the exact information we need to defeat Earthworm Jim," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt said. She then pushed a button and a human sized ant wearing a white lab-coat walked into the room. "Yes my queen?" The ant asked "Bring Psy-Crow in here immediately," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt demanded "Yes my queen," The ant replied as he pulled a lever that was next to him. Psy-Crow was then teleported in the middle of the room, but he was lying on a red sofa and appeared to be talking to himself. "…and ever since that day, I started wearing Hello Kitty brand undies." He said. He then noticed he was in the throne and turned to Queen-slug-for-a-Butt. Both of them had a disturbed and awkward face. "Oh… your majesty," Psy-Crow said with an awkward voice "You summoned me to try and get your super suit back?" "Well… yeah… yeah," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt answered back in an awkward voice "So uh… what's the catch this time?" He asked as he played with his hands and looked around the room "Earthworm Jim is in another dimension," She said, returning to her normal tone "I believe he might have ended up in this one." She then threw a manga to Psy-Crow and he started reading. "So I do I get there?" Psy-Crow asked "By a vortex In Terlawk," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt said. "So I'll be going now," Psy-crow said and then exited the throne room door. He came back in and said "You didn't hear anything about my underpants, did you?" Queen Slug-for-a-Butt just sighed and said "No. Now LEAVE!" Psy-Crow then ran out of the room screaming like a girl. Queen Slug-for-a-Butt then place a helmet on her head and a mallet came out of it, knocking her out. The ant scientist was standing there the entire time. "We'll at least I know my Suppress-o-matic helmet works,"

"_Before we continue I would like to give you a warning. The rest of this chapter and most of the story takes place during the Part II story arc. It contains a few plot twists that may spoil your full enjoyment of the Naruto series, especially if you only seen the dub episodes and read the translated manga. If you haven't caught up to the series, then stop reading the story and do so. If you have caught up or you don't have the attention span, the read on."_

Within one of the forests near Konoha, Team 7 was hiding in several places waiting to ambush they're target. Naruto was hiding in a bush, Sakura was using a Transform jutsu to disguise herself as a tree, Sai was standing on a branch and Kakashi was in Konoha's downtown district waiting for the book store to pen so he can get a remake of the first Icha Icha Paradise book. "Target 20 feet away," Sai said as he looked out and saw the target running closer and closer. "15….10….5….Now!" They then pounced on the target, which squirmed around and scractched they're faces and…. "Cough"… special areas. They returned to Kakashi with they're cat. "I see your teamwork is starting to improve," Kakashi said without adverting his eyes from his book. Naruto just and his closed angry eyes and yelled "I didn't came back from an intense training trip just to save some dumb cat! I trained to save Sasuske." "I don't know why you're wasting your time just to save a traitor," Sai said. Sakura just stood there depressed by Sai's comment while her Inner Sakura was sticking several needles, swords, ice picks and sharpened pencials into a voodoo doll version of Sai. All of the sudden a vortex appeared up in the sky and something was heading straight towards them. They quickly dashed out of the way as the object made impact with the stone pavement. They saw what it was and they were just speechless at the sight. If you saw a giant worm, a mutant dog and a smiling booger, you would be shocked too. **_"I got to_** **_end this now," _**Jim thought. Before Peter pounced on him, Jim quickly tickled his armpit with his tail and Peter started laughing. He then let out a loud burp and then changed back. Peter was quite exhausted from the near death experience and he passed out. "Now that that's settled, I got to find that Susnadey or whatever her name is," Jim said as he started to sliver, but then a cat started attacking him. It was then Sai realized he wasn't holding on to the cat any more. He quickly grabbed the cat as the rest followed to see these strange creatures. "Where did they come from Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked "I'm not sure," Kakashi replied "Might as well take them to the hospital first then see if they're a threat or just a bunch of idiots."

"_So they picked up the strangers from the sky and carried them. Little did they know that a ninja with an ANBU mask was spying on them from afar."_

"Then why aren't you gonna warn them?" the ninja asked.

"_I'm the narrator. I can't interact with the characters."_

"You're talking to me right now," The ninja shot back.

"Will Jim get his super suit repaired? Or will the evil Psy-Crow steal it for Queen Slug-for-a-Butt? Will the next chapter contain jokes that break the forth wall? Please be a no for that one. Check out the next chapter when it is posted. If it is then why are you still reading my narration when you can see what happens next?"

(Author's note: Hope you liked it. Make sure to read and review, but only positive and constructive criticism is allowed.)


	2. Too lazy to think of a good title

(A/N: Sorry for not updating this for months. I was attacked by flying babies that were carrying exploding kittens. Koala bears driving cowmobiles? Would you believe that aliens abducted me? All right I was lazy. Happy? Anyway, back to the story. And before I forget, the ANBU from the first chapter was wearing a snake mask.)

Chapter 2

Too lazy to think of a good title.

"When we last left our heroes they crashed landed into Naruto's home dimension and Earthworm Jim and Peter Puppy passed out from exhaustion. Snott managed to keep consciousness when he crashed into the ground and didn't take any damage due to his squishy, bone-less mucus body. Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura and Sai just stood there staring at the strange creatures."

Team 7 just stood there for several minutes until Naruto finally broke the silence.

"What the hell?" he said, as he couldn't understand what those creatures were.

They walked up to them with caution as Snott was staring at them with a smile.

"What do you think they are?" Sakura asked trying her best not to barf from the sight of Snott.

Kakashi picked up Jim and stared at him for a moment with a normal calm voice.

Sai picked up Peter by the shirt and asked, "What should we do with them?"

"They might be one of the Sound's experiments," Kakashi said "We have to see if they are loyal to Sound or not, but I don't think they're in condition to get interrogated. We'll drop the dog off at the Inuzuka clan and bring the worm and booger over to the hospital."

"Just as long as I don't have to carry the booger," Sakura said.

"What about that stuff?" Naruto asked as he pointed to the damaged rocket and suit.

"Might as well take them with us," Kakashi concluded "We could drop it off at the research lab."

Naruto picked up the rocket with one hand as he dragged the suit with his other. Sakura just groaned when she was stuck carrying Snott.

"Meanwhile in Jim's home dimension, Psy-crow entered the swirlly green portal and now you know what the portal looks like. Psy-crow maneuvered around the portal using his jet-pack as he tried to figure out which turn is which."

"Why did I have to ask for directions from my mom?" Psy-crow asked himself as he looked at a note in his hand. "I can't read her hand writing."

Somewhere in a big city a portal appeared Psy-Crow walked out of it. He took out a Naruto manga from his pocket, looked through it and began to look at his surroundings.

"This is it?" Psy-crow asked himself "Where's the ninjas? The Japanese culture? The cute big-eyed girls?"

Suddenly, the ground began to shake and the sky turned red.

"Unfortunately for Psy-Crow, he has entered the wrong manga and even worse, He was in the middle of FLCL's conclusion where Giant Ironers of Doom began to attack the city."

The buildings began to fall over as the ironers went through them flattening the remains. Psy-crow began running for his life as the ironers began chasing him. But they ran him over making him flat.

"And now we return to the plot. Psy-Crow went back into the portal and after accidentally going to the wrong manga during the most dangerous and annoying filler arcs over and over again, he finally made it to the Naruto dimension."

Psy-Crow came out of a portal that appeared in an ally near Team 7. He was about to walk out of the ally when he saw the ninjas carrying Jim. He quickly hid behind a trashcan and took a peek at them. What really caught his attention was Naruto carrying his super suit.

'**_The queen told me that they have pretty primitive technology._**' A sadistic smirk came across his face as he loaded his hook gun. **_'This is going to be too easy.'_**

"I don't believe this is happening," Sai said to himself with annoyance in his voice. "A giant worm, a mutant dog and a booger just came out of no asked "A fat crow wearing a yellow space suit?"

All of the sudden Psy-crow jumped out of the ally and pointed his gun at them

You had to jinx us, didn't you!?" Sakura said in an angry voice as she hit Naruto on the head.

"Primitive humans," Psy-crow announced "I am from another dimension. I was sent by Queen pulsating, bloated, festering, sweaty, pus filled, malformed, Slug-for-a-butt to…"

"Wait a minute," Naruto interrupted "Your leader has a slug for a butt?!" His face started to turn a sick blue as the image of a slug butt was stuck in his head.

Psy-crow just ignored Naruto and continued to talk. "…steal the super suit of a creature named…"

"She actually has a slug for a butt?!" Naruto asked while trying to suppress the urge to puke "How does she use the toilet?!"

Psy-crow was starting to get annoyed but then took a sigh to calm down and said, "Long story short, my boss hired me to steal that worm's suit so she can enslave you all and give me a pay check. So are you gonna give me the suit or not?!"

"You should really think of a better tactic then monolouging us to death until we get bored, because it's SERIOUSLY getting old!" Naruto stated as he got into fighting position.

"Oh well," Psy-crow said "I was hoping I could use this."

Naruto quickly took out his kunai and started charging right toward his large, yellow target. Psy-crow quickly aimed his gun at Naruto and shot out a hook that left a cut on his right shoulder.

Naruto covered the cut with his left hand as a painful look was on his face while he looked at the fat bird.

"How did you do that?" Naruto asked.

"It's something called technology," Psy-crow responded as he was setting his gun to rapid mode. "Something that no one, not even the fastest of ninjas, could ever match."

Many passers by were noticing the fight and were watching wondering what was going on.

Kakashi was about to reveal his Sharingan eye when a voice stopped him.

"No!" Naruto yelled, "This is finally my chance. My chance to show the village my skills. My chance to show these people that I can protect them."

The cut on Naruto's shoulder was starting to heal as he was saying the speech and he started standing tall as a determined look on his face was starring right at the black bird that stood before him. However, Psy-crow wasn't impressed as he shot several small hooks into Naruto's chest, but to his surprise Naruto was still standing tall baring the pain with his determined look still planted on his face. Psy-crow face went from confidant to confused. He tried to shake it off as he shot a wave of hooks right in the blonde teen's face. Naruto was now standing tall as he was slowly walking toward Psy-crow with his determined face still starring at him. Psy-crow's look on his face went from confused to scared as the boy appeared to be still alive even with all the hooks penetrating his flesh. He continued to shoot at Naruto, but nothing happened. He looked at his gun and noticed that he already shot all his hooks at Naruto who was know standing six inches in front of him. Naruto then gathered chakara into his right fist and punched Psy-crow's helmet, causing it shatter into pieces as it continued to move forward into his face. The impact of Naruto's fist caused Psy-crow to fall onto the ground. Naruto collapsed too due to all of the blood he has loosed from the hole made from the hooks and the cuts made on his fist from the shattered glass. Sakura rushed over to catch him in time before he fell on his chest. She placed him on his back as she carefully removed the hooks from his chest and face so she can heal the wounds.

"The brat's not dead?" One of the villagers said.

"What's she doing?" More of them joined in the conversation.

"She's healing him!"

"We can't let t brat live!"

"Get him!"

The villagers than began to charge at Sakura and Naruto.

Sakura was a bit shocked by the villagers' reaction as she healed Naruto's chest and was now working on his face. Thank God the Kyuubi's powers made it faster to heal him. She knew that Naruto had it bad, but she couldn't imagine that the villagers treated him as if he was a killer. Sai and Kakashi held off the villagers with a Genjutsu illusion that tricked them into thinking there were attacking Naruto so Sakura can buy some time to heal.

"It's about time I became useful in this story," Sai said.

"_And so, after healing Naruto's cuts and distracting the villagers, Team 7 went off to the Inuzuka compound and then proceeded to the hospital to drop Jim, Snott and Naruto off. Kakashi told Sakura to keep an eye on the three while he took the super suit and rocket to the lab. Sakura excepted without hesitation. As she place Snott on a chair next to Jim, she starred at Naruto for a bit as he was getting a blood transfusing."_

Sakura then remembered back to when they were in the academy and he would sit on the swing while all the other kids either rushed home or waited for their parents to pick them up. **_'He was suffering and what did I do?'_** Sakura thought to her self **_'I made things worse by punching him on a daily basis!'_**

Tears started to form as Sakura's face as she recalled all the times she was mean to him. She then proceeded to cry gently so she wouldn't wake Naruto up. That part didn't do well as she expected as she started to cry harder as more tears leaked from her eyes. She tried to cover her face to block the sound, but it was no use as all the physical pain she gave to Naruto over the years came right back to her in emotional form.

"No, I will not help the miner pick at the rock so I can get a free PS3," a voice said, surprising her a bit.

Sakura turned around to see Jim talking in his sleep.

"If your about to ask me to tickle fifteen Elmos so I can win a free screensaver, then I have a worm whip with your name on it," Jim kept saying as he slept. Sakura had no idea about what the worm was talking about, but she thought it would be best if she didn't know.

"Just for that I'm canceling my account," Jim said "I'm sure there are tons of sites who would love to publish my Shadow x Sonic fan fics."

"I might as well wake him up," Sakura said to herself as she gently poked his head.

Jim opened his eyes to see Sakura staring at him.

"Sakura?" he asked.

Sakura was a bit startled that the giant worm knew her name, but she kept calm and decided to get any information out of him.

"Who are you and how did you knew my name?" Sakura said in a calm voice "You wouldn't happen to know an about a giant crow in a yellow space suit, would you?"

Jim's eyes grew big as he heard what Sakura said.

"By the Great Worm Spirit," Jim said as his voice started to change from normal to shouting "Who has punished non-believers with CatScratch, Psy-Crow is here?!"

"So you do know," Sakura stated "Why is he after you and that suit?"

Jim sighed and said, "This would be a good time to fill up the rest of the Chapter with a flashback."

The entire room is then filled with complaints.

_**Flashback in Jim's POV.**_

_**It all started eleven years ago. I was but a humble worm, burrowing through the surface. That was a bad idea since a crow was hunting and it spotted me. I tried to crawl away, but it was faster and was about to chew on me like a pencil. Then a super suit fell from the sky and landed on me. Fortunately, I wound up in the collar of the suit, thus making me fuse to the suit. It made me evolve into what I am today. After I beaten up the crow trying to eat me, I found out that my archenemy, Psy-Crow, was after the suit and me. I also learned that the evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt was holding her "twin" sister, the beautiful Princess What's Her Name, captive in her castle. So using the rocket pocket in the suit, I blasted off to Insectica to battle the long named fiend. Along the way I met many enemies who tried to steal my suit because of its super strength and ray gun. I also made two faithful friends. Peter Puppy, my sidekick who turns into a monster when he is scared, angry or hurt and Snott, a booger who spends most of his time in my backpack. If Psy-Crow gets the suit, he'll deliver it to Queen Slug-for-a-Butt and she'll take over the universe.**_

_**End of Flash back and switch to normal POV.**_

"I came here to your dimension which is based on a manga by Shoen Jump, available wherever Japanese products are sold, in hope that your leader, Tsunade the Fifth Hokage, would fix my super suit before it fell into the greasy clutches of villainy," Jim finished.

"But our village's machinery isn't as advanced as it is in your dimension," Sakura said.

"But you have to help," Jim pleaded "If we keep this scene up any longer, the writer will run out of space on the AlphaSmart he's typing on."

"_Will Tsunade fix Jim's super suit?"_

"_What has happened to Psy-Crow after the fight with Naruto?"_

"_Does this story fit into the current plot of the manga?"_

"_Will the writer get flame reviews for this chapter not being as funny as the first?"_

"_Come back next time to find out"_

(A/N: This is my first time trying to write drama so please tell me what you think. Any kind of review is now allowed as long as it is what you really think of this story.)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is an original story based on characters created by Masashi Kishimoto, Shonen Jump, Doug Tennapel and Shiny Entertainment.


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